So it has been four years when my yesterday left me broken, damaged, hurting and lost. I never thought that I would actually make it out of that deep dark pit of sarrow.
It took me years of sweat, crying, been in denial to finally accept that he is no more and that I was left alone to account for our daughter. You see it was through the Word of God and finding the strength and support from my family and my new found family in Christ to get to where I’m today.
But out of nowhere your yesterday appears and tries to shakes things, you might not have allowed the shake to swing you from side to side but you definitely felt the impact of the shake.
Today we as single Christian women are at war with ourselves. The war starts when we finally realise that we have been single for so long and nothing is changing. We start to wonder and starting asking God questions that we feel we deserve answers to!!
Question I asked myself while lying in bed crying my eyes out feeling less of a woman was this:
Does a woman’s relationship status really define her?
Is being single a disease or an indication of something “wrong” with me?
At most times we end up blaming ourselves for failing to make the past relationship work, we start to come up with theories that will make us feel good for a second like, If only I was more submissive, or if I did what he requested of me. The list is endless of the excuses we make for ourselves.
We blame ourselves for being single but why are we at fault for not being married, as if marriage was something we just buy at the stores.
To all My beautiful God Fearing single sisters, as daughters of the Most High God, the One that created the very Boaz, Adams, Ribs, Perfect Ten we are praying for, He is working out your story beautifully, so rejoice in that.
I know this can get frustrating for us matured christian woman, who are ready for marriage that we can’t find the right guy.
Know that you are someone Eve, Ruth, Esther
Let us not be those Many Christian women who want a man that knows where he is going, but God’s men usually don’t have a clue.
Think about all the great men in the Bible that had relationships with God and who He used and blessed. They usually didn’t have a clue about where they were going and even if they had a clue, their lives for a long time did not reflect that great place God said He was taking them. Just think about it. All the way from Abraham, going to a land he did not know, Joseph having a dream that people would bow down to him but became a slave and then a prisoner; David who was anointed to be King and then lived the next 15 years in the wilderness as a fugitive; Peter the great fisher of men who was barely able to catch fish.
These men would have had a rough time finding a wife today. Could you imagine?
Many Christian ladies say they have faith but they don’t. They say that God is their source but they are lying. They say that they trust God’s will for their future but they are lying. They don’t.
They put their trust in a man. What kind of job he has/can get.
How much he is making or can make.
They want to make sure he has the “ability to provide”. They want him to have his life totally figured out.
Let us allow God To be the compass of our lives at all times.